In case you missed last night’s announcement, I’ve summarised the key points in the form of a poem.
Good evening all – it’s Boris here again.
I’m speaking to you now from number ten,
With news so grim that I’m inclined to think
It’s guaranteed to make you turn to drink.
I know that it is time to clear the air,
So with a heavy heart I must declare
That parties, raves, and wakes, and tennis play
Are all against the law – as from today!
Not only that, but schools as well must close.
At 12 hours’ notice – not much, I suppose.
But also – and I know this will cause gloom –
Your children must, once more, log in to Zoom.
But don’t despair, for we shall never fail.
‘Twixt Scylla and Charybdis we shall sail!
I trust the public very much indeed
To follow – in the wake of Sturgeon’s lead.