John Bell – a cautionary tale (RUDE)

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This is a poem I wrote in 1998 for a work colleague.  I’ve changed the name so as to avoid embarrassing him, but it rhymed with John Bell.  Anyway – he knows who he is.  Warning – there are some … Read More

Georgia on my Mind (video)

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Georgia was on my mind this week – so I thought I’d play this song and share it with the world! #georgia #lifenotes #piano #pianocover #pianist #georgiaonmymind  

Umbrellas – when should they be used?

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To use an umbrella, or not to use an umbrella?  This age-old question has puzzled the wisest humans for centuries.  But worry no more!  The following rhyme will help you remember just when it is acceptable to raise your brolly … Read More

Lockdown 3 – the rules in verse

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In case you missed last night’s announcement, I’ve summarised the key points in the form of a poem. Good evening all – it’s Boris here again. I’m speaking to you now from number ten, With news so grim that I’m … Read More

Hair

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Today is an important day for fans of hair, because the barber shops, salons and hairdressing emporia of England are now able to open again after 3 months of enforced closure. Great news! Just to clarify: by ‘hair’ I mean … Read More

Cummings – going?

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I was very moved by the story of Dominic Cummings in the news yesterday, following his father’s instinct as he did. So I wrote a poem. Dear people of the great United K, It’s well past time for me have … Read More

An ode to Donald Trump

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Let me introduce myself, You’ll know my name – Trump, Donald J. I am a man in perfect health, And this is what I have to say.   My job is US president, I use fake tan and great shampoos. … Read More

It’s a wrap!

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I’ve wrapped a lot of presents in my time. In fact, it’s a bit of a mystery as to why I’m still so very bad at doing it. Maybe it’s because I’m always wrapping under pressure, having left it until … Read More

Money, money, money.

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Money!  It makes the world go round, and at the same time it’s the root of all evil.  This apparent contradiction is confusing enough for adults, so how are children supposed to make sense of it? The subject of money … Read More

Sleep! And the lack of it.

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I am a lucky dad!  Every single day I wake to the gentle sounds of nature, having enjoyed a blissful uninterrupted 8-hour stretch of dreamless guilt-free slumber.  Thus refreshed, I spring out of bed, wave a yogic greeting to the … Read More

Fake news! The lies we tell.

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I read an article the other day that compared Donald Trump with Barack Obama, in terms of the number of falsehoods that they had told in their respective presidencies.  Here’s the article. The score is: Obama – 18 lies (in … Read More

Christmas

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I had a disturbing dream last night.  You don’t want to know the details, but it involved wine, mince pies, and a carrot.  It was a massive relief to wake up. I opened my eyes and immediately remembered that – … Read More

Robots (again) and petrol

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On my way back from dropping off the girls at school this morning, I stopped at a petrol station. Why? Because my car was nearly out of fuel. This is a potential disaster that occurs approximately once per week, but … Read More

Road signs and robots

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I was driving along a beautiful country road this morning on my way to work, whistling a merry tune, feeling calm and relaxed, and looking forward to a day of rewarding and productive activity. Not really!  It was a grey … Read More

Episode 5 – the full set! No more hip replacements.

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Fast forward a week, and it was Thursday night.  I checked my list, packed my bag, and decided to have a very late night.  The reason?  I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink less than 6 hours before check-in time, which … Read More

Episode 4 – my second hip replacement

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Introduction to the second hip I’m working from home today.  More accurately – I’m sitting at home feeling like I should be working, but I can’t actually be bothered.  A couple of hours’ research on various relevant forums reveals that … Read More

Hip replacement episode 3 – The Way Home

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Day 1 post op – Free Willy A new day, and one step closer to hip replacement recovery.  First things first – my porridge, which was the best I’d ever tasted.  Or so I thought at the time, but perhaps I … Read More

Hip replacement episode 2 – The Awakening, post surgery

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Wakey, wakey! I was in recovery after my total hip replacement operation.  I can’t remember who spoke to me first, but it was all very calm.  I didn’t lash out, swear, or try to walk.  The surgeon’s face appeared and said … Read More

Hip replacement episode 1 – Before The Operation

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It’s Saturday 20th August, or day 5 after my hip replacement. I’m settled at home, and feeling nearly back to my old self, for the first time since last weekend. It’s about time I wrote a diary of what happened … Read More